Romanticizing

Sitting in a coffee shop, reading an article by Zadie Smith, I expect her to walk in. Since I have no idea what she looks like, I will google her in advance to prepare for this insane hypothetical. This behavior is normal for me, as someone who is constantly daydreaming and romanticizing. It really keeps the storyline of my life inside my head interesting, but I have yet to see Zadie Smith or get discovered by a modelling agency on the street, so it also often leads to disappointment.

Still, occasionally these little serendipitous moments do occur, just not to me. For example, a friend of mine happened upon a party Evan Mock threw and got invited in by a mutual friend and he got to hang out with the cast of the new (more like ew) Gossip Girl. I’ve seen the cast around town too! Except when I was eating lunch at the same restaurant as Whitney Peak, she gave me the dirtiest look when she caught me taking pictures of her.

My raging social anxiety also makes these moments play out so much worse in real life. Seeing my old TikTok crush—guywithamoviecamera—on the street I open-mouth-stared at him before approaching and word-vomiting all over him. Now one last thing and then I swear to god I’ll shut up about this forever, my movie-moments may be flawed, but they definitely make for a better storyline.